drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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