I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
