hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
