we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You took a bar mat shot.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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