batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Houston, we have a squirter
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
