the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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