Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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