Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
