At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
