Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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