Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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