Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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