he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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