he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
