That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
