So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
