Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
