Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
