Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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