YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
