I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I need to sanitize my soul.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
