You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
