Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Less talking, more tequila
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
