His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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