i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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