I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
