Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
