you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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