Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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