If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
bring money and cleavage
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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