Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm too high and old for this...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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