omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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