IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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