do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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