I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
