from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
