I'm laying in your front yard are you home
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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