This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
