listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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