Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
