She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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