You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
