So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
