does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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