ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
