His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
