he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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