They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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