My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
