His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
