Christians are straight up FREAKS
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
