Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
